Now entering the coliseum, undefeated after twenty summers and twenty winters, Judge Judy, empress of hours after noon, conqueror of dreams, arbitrator of fiery, spread-winged justice. Let us now praise her.
She conjures herself onto flat screen, through retina, and settles upon our innards. To the untrained eye, she is but one woman who presides over a cardboard courtroom, scolds an endless parade of court jesters, then disappears off stage right. She is not one woman, though, but thousands. After years of observation, of chart making and forward and backward frame-by-frame dissection, of sleepless nights, spells, counter spells, of alternating period of ravenous consumption and sudden deficit of appetite, I have arrived at certain discoveries which I humbly present to you dear reader. Consider these five shifting faces of Judith. Continue reading