D.O.A. is a stone-cold noir classic, featuring the famous opening of a man stumbling into a police station to report his own murder. The story, told by him to homicide detectives, takes place entirely via flashback. Frank Bigelow recounts the tale of how on a trip to San Francisco, he gets poisoned, and decides to spend the rest of his ruined vacation getting shot at and searching for his killer. The narrator/victim is an accountant, and is only thrust into the role of hard-boiled detective by his circumstances. Read more »
It starts, maybe, with the moment Frances McDormand, as an NSA bigwig, declares that evil alien robot Decepticons should pass through customs. No–earlier, when noble alien robot Autobots infiltrate some nameless Arab state to murder Arabs. It might begin when fucking asshole Michael Bay does a long tracking shot following–in 3-D!–the toned, tanned ass of impossible-looking Carly (Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) as she climbs a flight of stairs to straddle her ugly mutt boyfriend Sam (Shia LaBeouf)–a pairing that at least in part explains the decades-long appeal of Ron Jeremy as a porn icon. Or maybe it’s the extended profanity (“dick, asshole, clusterfuck, bitch, shit” in a long-playing loop), the wholesale and semi-graphic murder of innocents by both sides, the way the robots bleed in crimson arterial sprays in this PG-13 movie, that instigates the realization that Transformers: Dark of the Moon (hereafter Transformers: Asshole) is a new low watermark for Bay and this naughty-little-boy franchise that highlights Bay’s misogyny, puerility, and imbecility for all the world to see. Better, it works as a fine illustration of how this industry of ours that I spend a lot of time defending is in bed completely with the Michael Bays of the world, who represent, I think, the money-making potential of any industry that consents to peddle vice and venality to children. 
alexandrathesister
hgish
illwatchanything
Jared Parmenter
sdoob
Timothy Parfitt
