True Brood: Remember Me
There is a good scene partway through Remember Me, Robert Pattinson’s newest appeal to America’s loins. In it, Tyler (Pattinson) and his girlfriend (Emilie de Ravin) list off fat New York Yankee players to irk Tyler’s rich, insensitive, Yankee-loving father (Pierce Brosnan). It’s a welcome comedic moment in a film that generally feels smothered by its’ desire to be taken seriously.
See, most romantic films (in the US, at least) are comedies, right? Well, Remember Me is a romantic drama! Bet you didn’t see that coming. Characters hit each other in anger, excessive drinking leads to vomiting, and Tyler quotes Gandhi, because he’s deep like that. So deep that he gets his ass kicked standing up to an unfeeling NYC cop. And then he picks up that cops daughter, out of revenge.
But they are actually perfect for each other, because they tragically deceased relatives (his brother, suicide, her mother, murder victim). The script isn’t horrible, per say, but Pattinson simply cannot navigate scenes that don’t consist of looking hot and brooding.
There is a big twist ending that I won’t divulge, but suffice to say it exploits recent history for maximum emo-ness. I saw the film at a preview screening, and when the credit rolled a girl in front of me stood up and loudly apologized to her group of friends for making them attend.
One last gripe: Remember Me features what I call the “Garden State effect,” whereby a spunky female love-interest is cured of all discernible personality and joke-telling ability by sleeping with the protagonist.
