Oscar season is here!
Ever since Titanic swept the 70th Academy Awards in 1998, I have held very, very little faith in the Oscars. At 16, the injustice of such a trashy, poorly-acted, poorly-written teenage-cryfest of a movie winning out over the obviously far more artistic L.A. Confidential, struck me like a revolting brick to the face, and I remember annoucing to my family, “These awards must be rigged. This is bullshit, and I’m never going to watch these again.”
Since then, I’ve come to believe more than ever in the absolute lack of decency of this “academy”, as enormously budgeted studio behemoths routinely crush their more authentic, intimate rivals. But what else could we expect from an organization composed primarily of actors — people who make their livings essentially lying to millions of people? The Oscars are not artistic awards, they are industry awards, an idea my 16-year-old mind couldn’t quite wrap itself around.
That being said, the Oscars are by far the most renowned awards a movie can receive, at least here in America. Festival awards, especially the plethora of Sundance prizes, are certainly coveted and in many ways respected a good deal more than the Academy Awards, among the die-hard indie filmmaking crowds, but since its inception in 1927, and especially since the first public awards ceremony that evolved out of the fledgling Academy two years later in 1929, the Oscars have captured the attention of the average American audience unlike any other awards ceremony, save perhaps the anointing of a President every four years.
You simply can’t deny the power this ceremony has come to leverage over the movie industry, made up, as it is, by some of the most powerful figures both onscreen, and off. It commands an entire evening of prime-time television; draws a veritable army of actors, directors, producers, techies, publications, fashion designers, pundits, critics, and star-struck, red-carpet cheerleaders out to the Hollywood-based Kodak Theater, essentially shutting down some of the busiest areas in LA for days; and even forces studios to rearrange their production and release schedules in order to maximize the chances a particularly heavy-hitting film has at getting a shot at one (or often, many) of these golden-overlaid nudie statues. (Contrary to popular belief, the Oscar itself is made of “brittanium”, and is merely covered in a layer of gold, much like the discrepancy bewteen the surface and substance of the films that win. I find that amusing)
Of course, the Oscars are just as susceptible to the forces of advertising, popularity and politicking as any other national-spotlight driven event, leading to my 15 year old disgust with the entire process. At the time, I had assumed these awards were given out based on some kind of artistic merit, which, in the years since, I’ve learned to be the naive idealism of youth. Studios prepare for months, and often years, to set the stage for an Oscar-hopeful film to be received in the best light possible, often crafting elaborate campaigns to spread “the buzz” among the right crowds in the hopes of maneuvering a potential contender into the final nominations list. Frequently, just as with any other political sport, issues like artistry and talent are set aside for the more tabloid-sized aspects of a film, like it’s studio power, box office gross, and celebrity.
In that vein, we here at I’ll Watch Anything embrace the many sides of the Oscar feeding frenzy, and present to you our picks for the more well-known categories, both those we hope would win (based on, you know, quality) and the cold, soul-crushing reality of the ones we actually expect to win (based on, you know, superficiality). We’re skipping some of the smaller awards because… we can.
Enjoy, and feel free to include yourself and your picks in the comments section!
For a complete list of all the Oscar awards (including the seven other lesser-publicized awards given at the Academy Awards ceremony), check out IMDB’s excellent coverage.
Under each category, you’ll find our predictions for who will win, and in parenthesis, who we think should win.
Best Picture:
Jared - Hurt Locker (District 9)
Harrison- Avatar (Avatar)
Timothy-Hurt Locker (White Ribbon)
Best Actor:
Jared- Jeff Bridges (Jeremy Renner)
Harrison- George Clooney (Jeremy Renner)
Timothy-Jeff Bridges (Paul Rudd, I Love You, Man)
Best Actress:
Jared- Sandra Bullock (Meryl Streep)
Harrison- Gabourey Sidibe (Meryl Streep)
Timothy-Cary Mulligan (Charlotte Gainsbourg, Antichrist)
Supporting Actor:
Jared- Cristoph Waltz (Cristoph Waltz)
Harrison- Cristoph Waltz (Cristoph Waltz)
Timothy Parfitt-Waltz (Waltz)
Supporting Actress:
Jared- Mo’Nique (Mo’Nique)
Harrison- Vera Farmiga (Maggie Gyllenhaal)
Timothy-Mo-nique (Lorna Raver, Drag Me to Hell)
Best Director:
Jared- Kathryn Bigelow (James Cameron)
Harrison- Kathryn Bigelow (Kathryn Bigelow)
Timothy-Bigelow (Bigelow)
Best Original Screenplay:
Jared- Mark Boal (Quentin Tarantino)
Harrison- Quentin Tarantino (Quentin Tarantino)
Timothy-Tarentino (The Young Victoria)
Best Screenplay Adaptation:
Jared- District 9 *TIE* Precious
Harrison- An Education (District 9)
Timothy-Up in the Air (In the Loop)
Best Animated Feature:
Jared- Up (Fantasic Mr. Fox)
Harrison- Princess and the Frog (Fantastic Mr. Fox)
Best Cinematography:
Jared- Avatar (Avatar) [Harry Potter runner-up]
Harrison- Avatar (Avatar)
Best Foreign Language Film:
Jared- A Prophet (A Prophet)
Harrison- White Ribbon (White Ribbon)
Best Documentary Feature:
Jared- The Cove (The Cove)
Harrison- The Cove (The Cove)
